Dear Abby,

I'm a 32-year-old woman (going on 16) who is the daughter of a rather well-connected man in an Atlanta suburb. I've been dating a man whose family is also well known in these parts, and Daddy strongly approves of him. We could live a good life together -- you know -- big house, fancy cars, nice clothes. I'm just not sure I really love him. I'm not that sure of much of anything, really.  Daddy and Mommy have always advised me on the big decisions. I look like a deer in headlights when faced with even minor decisions like what to wear. I loved being the center of attention at eight showers, and the big wedding sounds wonderful, but there are have been SO MANY decisions to be made -- the color of the 14 bridesmaids' dresses, the flower arrangements, the cake decoration, where to go on our honeymoon, etc, etc. It's really stressed me out!  So, I had to get away. 

The Vegas ads on TV make it look like the place to get away from it all, where nobody asks any questions (what starts there, stays there). So, I bought a bus ticket, cut and dyed my hair, caught a cab, and left!  I've never been interested in the news, since it doesn't have anything to do with me, so I didn't know Dad would make a national news event out of my taking a few days to think it over. Of course, when I saw he had, I had to make up a story about being abducted. I thought about saying a Black did it, like Susan Smith did; but decided it would be better to pin it on an Hispanic since I was out West. But, since I've never been around either much, the detectives saw right through my story, so I had to tell the truth and go into the "hurt little girl" act which has served me so well all my life.  It worked great. They didn't charge me with anything, let me cover my head on the way to the airport, forbade camera shots on the plane, and let me use a special exit at Hartsfield-Jackson. One even bought me a teddy bear! (Men can are so easy to con!)

Now, my fiance thinks we should hold off on the wedding until I get some "help."  I don't know why he's saying that now, when I've always been a wild-eyed airhead, and he says he likes that. He's always said he has enough brains for the both of us, and all I needed to do was look good and be good (in a way I'd best not spell out, but you know what I mean). He said I didn't even need to cook or clean house. (Thank goodness, as I've never done either.)

But, sorry, I'm babbling way too much. (Feel free to cut some of that out if you publish this.) You've probably already figured out my question: Do I have to give back the wedding gifts? Some of them are REALLY nice! Since we'll probably get married eventually anyway, is there anything wrong with just keeping them?  PLEASE answer Amy, as wondering about this is starting to stress me out! I can't concentrate on anything else.

Jennifer in Duluth