Striking the "Lynndie" pose (this is gonna be BIG)
This British blog proposes a new gesture, based on this infamous Lynndie England pose from the Abu Ghuraib scandal, and invites readers to send in their Lynndie photos. Step-by-step instructions are provided.
It's fun (in a sophomoric sense) to "Lynndie" someone, but slightly embarassing to extremely humiliating (depending upon your ego and your sense of humor) to be "Lynndied." (If you're a sensitive Islamic radical terrorist, apparently it's downright abusive, especially when executed by a female whom the Evil Satan has given equal status to men!). If you're well-adjusted and self-secure, you'll laugh it off as a childish prank which reflects more on the "lynndier" than the "lynndiee."
Beret tip to Michael at Deleted Logic. Leave it to him to find something sick like this. :-)
One example (about 1 in 10 will be mildly amusing, and only a few will be really creative):
The list of entries is growing rapidly, and more creative ones are probably on the way, if this goes as these things usually go. (I'm waiting for the presidential and VP candidates to get "lynndied," either actually or via Photoshop.) I want to hear: "I'm George W. Bush, and I approve of this Lynndie." Or, "I'm John Kerry, and I DEMAND George Bush call off these jokers who keep Lynndieing me everywhere I go! The photoshopped ones from when I fell off my bike and when that #@*$ SS man tripped me on the snow skis are particularly dishonest adn dishonorable. He's letting them do his dirty work!"
This promises to be a new term and art form, at least as big as the World Tour of Lulu and her Hubby from Tennessee (which was big for a short time a year or two ago). But, as such things go, it will be short lived and soon passe, so enter your "Lynndie" ASAP. If you live in liberal states like CA or NY, do it this weekend, as a law against such "abuse" will probably be passed Monday morning.
It's good for a sick kind of laugh, but ACE recommends you exercise due care in selecting the target, else you might be quickly decked. While most leftists are harmless wimps, a few are not and consider what Lynndie did as ABUSE, not harmless HAZING, which only embarasses. An Airborne or Marine soldier may just cold cock you on the spot (after which he'll be "de-lynndied"), as they don't care to be the brunt of jokes, however physically harmless, and don't have to brook such nonsense.
Best defense: Counter-Lynndie!
Assuming you don't want to be charged with assault, ACE recommends you be prepared to use the best legal defense: Lyndie the Lynndier back, fast enough to be caught in the photo. That requires quick recognition and a quick draw! Of course, you have to be alert to execute this counter-attack.
If you see a Lynndie attack being set up, using WLD (Weapons of Lynndie Destruction - A posing pointer and a camera person), you might be wise to do a PLS (pre-emptive Lynndie Strike). But, that requires having a spotter (got intel) and cameraperson on duty at all times. (Having a good defense is not cheap, as the US budget deficit indicates.) If you are traveling with the Kerry camp, you'll need to work this out with the UN and foreign leaders in advance.
One last word of advice: If you're overweight, out-of-shape, and have tattoos all over your arm, you need to look harder for someone who looks worse than you to Lynndie. Like the Bible says, don't criticize the sty in your neighbor's eye when you have a beam in your own eye (or something like that -- don't have time to look it up).
As noted in an earlier ACE post, the Vietnam News assures us that no American POW's were ever "Lynndied" in the Hanoi Hilton (although it was probably commonplace in the American POW camps in Vietnam. Had the term existed at the time, John Kerry would no doubt have told the Committee:
"I didn't personally cut off heads, kill babies [SIC - he left this out of his report on the attack of the sampan], rape women, burn villages [SIC - ask him about his Bic lighter?], attach magneto radios to genitals [a common practice in 82nd Airborne initiations -- well, maybe not to the genitals, but it still hurt like hell and was humiliating], or Lynndie the Viet Cong and innocent civilians in the fashion of Genghis Kahn; I saw others do it, and heard other soldiers [SIC - many telling these stories in Detroit were later found to not even be soldiers] tell of these things."
The popularity of silly things like this, along with the craziness of people flying planes into buildings and such, shows we are, indeed, in the FINAL DAYS. Get right with God. Like the Airborne says, God will sort us out when we die.
Recent Comments